Had a lousy practice yesterday mainly because my pants are now too tight. On the way out nice teacher asked how my practice was and I started whimpering. I embarrass easily and dickered all morning until I dragged myself to led 1/2 primary. Got there, did my stretching and when class was about to start I started whimpering again. Got my shit and left leaving another very nice teacher probably concerned. I got home went outside and did my practice with a speed that left me shocked. No skipping but super fast breathing, and like I was in a race to finish first. I was done, drenched, feeling better but still feel like an idiot for bolting. I hope this is not long term, I’m tired of quitting shit.