Hide And Seek

I have spent some time looking at my search history to figure out where I read what I’m going to talk about with no luck. My closest guess is going to be EJ or FB where someone wrote about her ashtanga practice, and how she found out it was detrimental to practice with her eyes closed. I close my eyes during practice a lot. Whenever it seems like I’m going to bail, I close my eyes and “focus inward”. Apparently that is the  mumbo jumbo equivalent of checking out. So today I concentrated on keeping my eyes open, looking far ahead during the pseudo jump through, and so on. By the time Navasana came around (what is it  with by the time Navasana  comes…??!) I was feeling overwhelmed slash over stimulated slash anxious  and frustrated with my lack of progress with core strength, so I decide to go half primary today. I do UD and then feel a little queasy during an abbreviated Paschimottanasana. I’m heading to shoulderstand and did not make it up, because I had to find the toilet. I was telling teacher afterwards that I was probably holding my breath in a loony shot at holding Navasana and maybe that’s why I got barfy. But later in the car I wondered if it was a physical manifestation of my discomfort with the first attempt at actually showing up for every difficult moment in my practice without closing my eyes….

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4 thoughts on “Hide And Seek

  1. I practice with my eyes more closed than open mostly because I have a very busy mind and it is the best way for me to control it. I took a workshop with the funny and often irreverent David Williams once and asked him about it . He said “if it makes you feel good and practice in a more focused way, then close your eyes” so I do:)

  2. So did I! I remember him saying that and me thinking yay! I think my my way of going inward is closer to “this shall also pass” rather than inquiring into what the sensation brings, if you know what I mean. Like when I open my eyes, it means it’s over! Time to move on, which I don’t think is what he meant or what you do. What a great storyteller David is. I’m so glad he was an eyewitness to the time of spontaneous far away, open ended travel experiences.

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